Surprise! Time for supplies

I'm sure my loyal readers are thinking to themselves, "wow, a Meatcation sounds like such a fun, sexy time, but what does it all mean? What happens next in Meatcation? How does I Meatcationed?"

Listen up, the first thing that you're going to need is supplies. Lots and lots of meaty supplies. But during your fantastical meat-venture you'll need to keep up your nourishment with things like.....

Kidding...?

Kidding!

This is just the kind of nourishment I'll need

For anyone still reading after that evil trick, good for you. You're stronger than most. So, anyway, I had to ask myself, where does one fuel up for such a delicious, self destructive trip of indulgence? Where can I get a shopping cart full of meats at always low prices?

And, seriously, could you be any more fucking patriotic?

I chose not to include any photos of the Walmart clientele, as this blog is not intended to be an appetite suppressant.

To set the mood, the time was last Friday, and I'd just finished that awesome meal. Obviously, I was eating on a very full stomach, so that should influence what I purchase here, right? No need to worry about that 'shopping on an empty stomach thing,' right? Well, probably for most people, but on this day I was essentially a little kid that had actual money.

The results:

First thing's first, we're gonna need a huge pizza. Walmart has surprisingly very good pizzas. Don't even get me started about their wings.

Why are there so many pizzas?! Which one should I buy?

So...many...meats

I also picked up a sexy pork shoulder, but I forgot to take pictures of that in its package...

Whoa! Spoilers!

Oh, also living with a part-time vegan means I don't get to enjoy a lot of these

Cookie Dough is the only possible option here

And the fact that I'm not five means I don't get many of these

I went with the Scooby Doo's and Gushers

These fries are really good

Give me all of the bacon and eggs you have

Not pictured: all of the eggs they had

I'm gonna need to go ahead and take one of each

Looking good so far

Almost done

So then I was all done with Walmart so I went back to work for a little bit. It was boring, so let's flash ahead to home. First things first, I needed to clear some space for my presents

What should I do with all of these vegetables?

A-ha!

Here's some of the spoils of the adventure

OK, well the boring part is done. But I know there's one question everyone is asking: which pizza did Joe buy? Did he go with the pepperoni? Maybe supreme? That Texas pizza?

This is Meatcation, not weakcation, dipshits. Only one possible answer

So now that I did all that hard work, what should I have for my first real meal of Meatcation?

Carbs, water, nutrients. What more do you need?

Turned out I was pretty full from lunch still, so the meat would have to wait a little bit. I did enjoy some Cheez-Its, though. On our next installment...I dunno, I guess other stuff will happen. Unless I get bored and quit. It's about 50/50.

The Meatcation: It Begins

Me, I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian.

         

I used to hate Quentin Tarantino. I thought he was just a gimmick, with overhyped movies. Edgy because he used racist words. For the most part, this is still true, but I'll have to admit he's grown on me.

But I digress, this blog isn't about Quentin or movies or entertainment or anything like that. This is about celebrating the unbridled glory of meat for the next 15 days or so. I'm not really sure.

For a little background on me, for all people following this who aren't Beck or Angel, assuming I send this that far. Actually, on second thought, who am I kidding? A blog about meat, called Meatcation. Angel is already a subscriber.

But again, I digress. I just find it so difficult to talk about myself. My name is Joe, and, and this is hard to say, I live with a vegetarian. So I must say, I share Jules' plight up there, but I do love the taste of a good burger. So when Melanie had her grad school world tour scheduled, I knew I had to take full advantage of my time alone. So, obviously, this meant one thing: Meatcation (For anyone who hasn't caught on yet, Meat+Vacation=Meatcation (I roll with a slow crew. Plus, this is the internet, after all)). 

A couple quick disclaimers I want to make for full disclosure. First, I don't normally live under some anti-meat tyranny. I could totally eat meat whenever I want to, cause I'm a man who makes my own decisions. I choose to eat vegetables for dinner because it's easier not to cook two separate meals and, honestly, I enjoy them, and I really like cooking. Also, balancing work, school and television leaves little time for gyms, so this diet leaves me feeling good and not becoming a complete fat shit. 

But anyway, enough of that nonsense. Onto the Meatcation.

Meatcation began last Friday. Technically, we had a prelude on Thursday, where I enjoyed some chili cheese fries and a cheese steak from C.C. Peppers. Sorry, I forgot to take pictures, but they were pretty good

Since it was Friday, this could only mean one thing: Fat Jacks

It's totally true!

Definitely the best barbecue place in State College. Probably also the only barbecue place, but whatever. I normally get the quarter rack ribs with either fries, onion rings or, typically, both. However, this is Meatcation, this means we have to ramp it up a little bit.

These are just the sides

Here's the real deal

 

I had to arrange them in a pyramid, of course

Here are Beck and Jeremy's meals. Jeremy had peanuts or something

GG

Alas, another successful Fat Jacks adventure. Was it delicious? Hells yes. Did I feel like soggy buttholes? Most certainly. Would I do it again? Only every Friday.

Stay tuned for the next adventure, where we load up on supplies and maybe learn a little bit about ourselves. Though probably not.